A New Purpose
by meixel
Summary: Set shortly after the end of the fifth season, Mike has his hands full with the unexpected.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own anything to do with TSOSF and I make no profit from my fan fic endeavors. All writing is done for fun, enjoyment and skill improvement.

* * *

A New Purpose

It was the spring following the Tannenger trial, the tragic event that placed a hole in the heart of Inspector Steve Keller and an exclamation point at the end of his six year career with the San Francisco Police Department. As a much sought after addition to the University of California - Berkeley Criminology Department, Keller moved on to a new professional life. His former partner, Lieutenant Mike Stone moved on as well, now mentoring another young man, Inspector Dan Robbins who, while similar in some ways to his predecessor, also distinguished himself with different interests and skills.

Influenced by his new partner's chief extracurricular interest of healthy living, Mike Stone suggested that he, along with his daughter Jeannie, Dan and Steve, spend the weekend camping and enjoying the fresh air away from the stresses of the city. It had been one of the first times the four had been together for any length of time beyond a quick dinner or cup of coffee. It was also the first real social engagement of any magnitude that Steve had attended since the shooting.

Arriving at Muir Woods, the foursome selected a remote and level campsite with great views of the woods and a small lake nearby. Trails, wildlife and California's prized redwoods surrounded them. The group set up two tents: one for Mike and Jean; the other for Dan and Steve. The fresh air was welcome to all, but especially for Steve who appeared to benefit the most.

Indeed, his first night's sleep in the tent was the best he'd had since perhaps before his time on the force and certainly after the shooting. The last awake, he greeted his fellow campers at breakfast and eagerly enjoyed the bacon, eggs and coffee that Mike had made for three of the four campers. He was amused at Dan, who enjoyed a bowl of oatmeal and wheat germ with fresh fruit.

Later, when Dan mentioned the five mile hike on nearby marked trails, Steve replied that he still wasn't up for that much physical activity and would need to take a pass. Mike jumped in. 'Yes, we figured that, but no worries. That's why you and Jeannie are going to do the fishing and catch us something for lunch while Dan and I go.'

Stunned that he and Jeannie were left to provide food for the group, Steve glanced at his fellow fisherman with a 'what are we going to do?' look. Already prepared, she smiled as she handed him a pole set with bait. In no time, they walked down to the small lake together in search of trout and blackfish.

* * *

The first hour of their endeavor was focused on picking the right location and establishing a good rhythm with the fishing. They had good success. Jeannie, no stranger to the outdoors, held her own and caught three blackfish compared to Steve's two. When things quieted down, Jeannie wanted to ask Steve something that had been on her mind for some time: how he was really doing.

He, of course, said, 'Fine' and pretended not to understand what the concern could be.

Jeannie called him out. "I don't believe you. You're not nearly as active as you used to be and you're a lot quieter. Come to think of it, you're not as active as when you first came out of the hospital. What gives?"

Hemming and hawing, Steve eventually admitted that everything changed for him after the shooting. "I'll never be 100% of what I was."

"What do you mean?" Jeannie asked, surprised at the tinge of bitterness in Steve's answer. In the months following his departure from the police force, he had done nothing but portray an optimistic view of his future but then had gone quiet in recent months.

"I can't do anything very strenuous and there's always going to be that risk that something may happen," he responded nervously.

"But they fixed your heart, right? There was little damage." Jeannie was the eternal optimist.

"They did what they could, but yes, there was more than a little damage. There could be problems down the line," Steve sighed as he paused for a moment. "I just feel like my future is limited. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be alive and I am in a good spot with my new job, but outside of that, there are limits."

Jeannie felt as if he was bordering the line between reasoning and resignation. "Well maybe you won't run any marathons, but I think you can have a normal life. You can marry, have kids, run them all around and we'll make fun of you as we watch your hair turn grey just like everyone else." Expecting a laugh or at least a smile, Jeannie was surprised at the seriousness in Steve's voice.

"I doubt it. Jeannie, I can't see burdening someone with my heart condition. I may not be there for them in the long run." Steve fixed his gaze at the lake looking to see if there were any fish trying to bite. He could feel Jeannie's stare almost as intensely as the sun heating the back of his shirt.

Not knowing what to say, Jeannie sat still holding her fishing pole tightly, fighting back the urge to shed a tear or two. She didn't realize that things were that serious. "But that can't be. You're Steve Keller. You've survived everything that's been thrown at you. You can't stop living now. You could have 50 years or you could have five. We're all in that boat. You should enjoy it as best as you can."

"Yes, but I can't get involved with someone only to let them down. It's only fair."

"You don't know that you would let them down."

"There's a good chance. Oh, I'm not saying that I'm going to be a monk," he admitted with a sly grin. "I'll probably turn into a bigger cad than I already am. Maybe instead of a relationship lasting two months, I'll end it at one."

"I thought you couldn't do anything very strenuous..." Jeannie countered, trying to make light of a situation that was breaking her heart.

"I'll let the ladies do the work," he joked but then felt immediately badly about the remark. It was an uncomfortable thing to say in front of the young woman whom he secretly treasured. "Sorry."

Jeannie's eyes widened. Instead of chuckling as she normally would, she simply nodded her head and tried to keep focusing on fishing. "But what if you meet the right woman? Are you going to deprive her and you of what may be destiny?"

"Destiny?" Steve asked bitterly. "I'll give you destiny. I believe I was given mine when I made the mistake last September. You remember the one – letting my guard down on a vicious killer simply because she looked so innocent? You know, Jeannie, Barbara Ross didn't succeed in killing me, but I have paid for that mistake with my life."

Jeannie held her breath as he continued.

"There's not a day that goes by that I don't relive that night. The flash of the gunshot, the pain. Oh my God, the pain. The bullet broke my sternum and then if that wasn't bad enough, the surgeon cracked my sternum from top to bottom to get to the bullet. You will never know the pain it was for that bone to knit back together. But the worst is that I see the scar every day - it goes up to my collarbone and then practically down to my navel. It's a reminder of that horrible night that tells me I shouldn't even be here. When I think about it, I'd probably scare some poor girl to death the first time she saw it."

Jeannie fought back tears as she heard Steve berate himself and deny his own future. "Stop! Just stop, okay?" A few tears spilled over. She whipped her head around to deny him the chance to see her cry.

Her actions failed. He saw the tears and immediately sunk in shame. "I'm sorry, Jeannie." He took a deep breath and laid a hand on her shoulder. "I would never want to hurt you," he whispered. He sat in silence, but then finally laid the fishing pole to his side, got up and walked away.

Seconds later, Jeannie heard Mike and Dan's voices booming through the woods. "Steve?" she called out before Mike and Dan could appear. Steve turned to her and they eventually met in an embrace as she caught up with him.

Before she could speak, he apologized again. "Jeannie, I'm so sorry. Look, forget I said anything. You're right. I'm the same old Steve. It just gets to me sometimes, but I'll be fine." He was lying through his teeth, but it broke his heart to see her cry.

It only underscored what he had been thinking all along the last few months. _I can't hurt Jeannie or Mike more than I already have._


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the support for this story. Please bear in mind that as the story unfolds, I do not take lightly what Jeannie will go through. Rest assured that this will not be a death fic or anything even close.

This story was originally written last month as a writer's challenge for a camping trip (!) and the first chapter was going to be it - a simple one shot. But then I added more - and considering what October has grown to mean in the US (I won't spoil the end of the chapter here), I wanted to develop it.

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**Chapter 2**

Mike noticed Jeannie was nervous and not herself after he and Dan returned from the hike. She put on a good face as she and Steve cleaned and prepared the fish they caught, but Mike noticed that the two were working in parallel, not joking or even speaking. The eye contact between the pair was minimal and that continued through the rest of the weekend. Something was wrong; the senior detective knew his daughter too well. Still, he didn't want to cause a scene, but instead wondered if there had been a disagreement between her and his former partner - or whether there was something deeper going on.

Dan also noticed the change of atmosphere. "Everything okay?" Dan asked Steve when they had a moment alone.

"Sure," was the quick response with nothing more said. Dan got nothing more than polite small talk from Steve the rest of the weekend.

* * *

Several months went by, and Steve's participation in activities with Mike, Jeannie and Dan became fewer and farther between. It was a conscious decision on his part; he simply wanted to distance himself and protect the ones for whom he cared so deeply.

Generally, work commitments was his top excuse. At one point in the early summer, he volunteered to attend a criminology symposium for six weeks at the University of Maryland. The time away from San Francisco was a welcome change, but did nothing to undo the thoughts he now had about fully immersing himself in work and avoiding any serious social commitments. He would develop relationships at work, along with casual acquaintances and liaisons - but that would be as far as he would go.

Still, it wasn't as if he didn't think about the people he grew so fondly of in San Francisco - Mike and Jeannie, in particular. He thought so highly of them - and deep down he knew they were as important as family. But acknowledging that feeling meant that he wanted to protect them. Certainly he kept them in his thoughts and prayers - and would still call occasionally, but the idea was to retreat from the closeness of their relationship. The best way to protect them from any possible heartbreak that his health condition caused was to back away.

_Heartbreak_, he thought to himself. _I've had a lot of that both figuratively and literally. _The latter thought brought an ironic grin to his face. _I just want to spare them of the same._

* * *

Steve's ever growing absence in their lives did not go unnoticed by Mike. The situation saddened him. Over the weeks following the camping, Jeannie shed some light about the conversation at the lake which made her so upset. Mike knew his former partner well and knew that the wall he was building around himself would be increasingly difficult to break down.

_But perhaps over time..._ He vowed not to let Steve slip away that easily all the while giving him space to work through what he needed. _After all, he's been through more stress and trauma in the last year than most have in their lifetime. Not only did he nearly die, but the extent of his injuries will impact the rest of his life._

He detected still quite a bit of hurt, however, with this daughter - and for that he didn't quite understand as well as he did Steve's withdrawal. When they learned that Steve was working most of the summer in Maryland, Jeannie took it especially hard as she spent many of days following in a quiet funk. _Women,_ Mike finally concluded.

* * *

Steve returned at the end of July to prepare for the next semester at Berkeley. He felt better than he had in awhile; the time away served as more of an affirmation that he needed to disconnect. Now, the preparation for the next academic year gave him another excuse not to be overly social or reconnect with his close friends.

Mike called Steve on his return and the friends did manage to squeeze in a ballgame before the semester started. Then, there was silence. Steve immersed himself in his teachings, while Mike refocused his efforts to his job. There was a certain emptiness inside of the older man.

But that emptiness did not stay for long. Mike's world came crashing down when his daughter approached him weeks later.

With paleness and watery eyes, she whispered as she sat down at the dinner table, "Mike, I need to talk to you about something."

"What is it, Sweetheart?" Immediately, Mike felt a knot in the pit of his stomach.

"I found something. Oh, I just don't know how to tell you this," her voice quivered.

Mike dropped his napkin at the sound of the nervousness in Jeannie's voice. "Honey, tell me."

"I found a small lump on the side of my breast. I called our doctor and I'll be seeing him tomorrow." Remembering Jeannie's mother and what happened a dozen years before, Mike was crushed beyond words. Tears formed in his eyes. He jumped around the table and embraced his daughter in a bear hug. She too remembered her mother's experience and the fear and dread overcame her as she began sobbing in his arms.

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

The doctor's appointment resulted in a hospital visit for a mammogram. It was the first time the twenty-five-year old woman had the test and she was worried. The process was something so relatively new that it wasn't around when her mother was ill. While she knew some women who had gone through the test, none of her close friends had.

Mike accompanied her for the screening and vowed he would be with her every step of the way no matter what the outcome. It was not something he looked forward to, but it was something he knew she and her mother would have wanted.

After the test, Jeannie was sent home to await the results.

* * *

Word came two days later via a call to her home in the middle of the afternoon. Upon hearing the nurse advise that she would need to be admitted to the hospital for a biopsy, she softly thanked the caller and hung up the phone. She took a deep breath before taking her next step. After gaining her composure and steady voice, she placed a call to her father who was was in his office working on recent homicide files.

* * *

Mike answered the phone, giving a quick glance up to Dan, who had just then walked in to discuss their current case.

"Oh, hello, Sweetheart. How is your day going?" Mike smiled as he spoke. His cheerful voice compensated the anxiety that threatened to flood back. When he learned that Jeannie had further news on her situation, he waved the younger detective out of his office.

Dan shut the door and took his spot at his desk. Pretending to focus on paperwork, he instead looked thoughtfully back at his boss's office and pondered what Mike was discussing with Jeannie. Mike's mood had been so miserable lately that Dan had recently confronted him. It was then that Mike confided what was happening with his daughter. Seeing the smile quickly fade to a look of deep concern, Dan feared the worst.

Minutes later, Mike walked out of his office and whispered to Dan, "She's going into the hospital tonight to have a biopsy done in the morning. I'm going to wrap up here and I'll see you in a couple of days." Dan nodded as his partner walked back in to his office and shut the door.

* * *

For the remainder of the day, Dan worked with the other detectives on the squad's caseload but was also consumed with worry about his partner whose only living family was his daughter. Should anything happen to Jeannie, Mike's world would be over - no doubt only an empty shell would remain.

Wanting to help as best he could, Dan's thoughts turned to Steve. While Dan had forged a solid friendship with Mike, the pairing was not as close as Mike and Steve's. Steve was special to Mike, and Dan had always assumed the feeling was mutual. Shortly after Steve left the force, Mike talked non-stop about his former protege': 'Steve did it this way; Steve thought things worked best that way.' Dan felt that everything he did was in comparison to his predecessor, which made him feel discouraged.

That ended mercifully when Mike realized the strain he had placed on Dan. Mike wanted nothing more than success for the new partnership and abruptly made an effort to place his focus on the present.

Still, Steve had been such a huge part of Mike's life - as well as of the department's - that Dan would occasionally inquire about Steve. That action sent a positive signal to Mike, which only enforced their budding friendship. Soon, the trio began meeting for a drink or dinner after work occasionally. Dan picked up on Steve's character at these engagements and soon learned to trust the young man. He eventually sought Steve out for on-the-job advice about how to handle the caseload as well as handling his new partner. The advice was priceless and the two young men began establishing a solid friendship. That was until Steve began giving excuses for no longer meeting.

Dan wondered what was happening. Mike explained what he thought was surrounding the turn of events that lead to Steve's withdrawal from his friends. Dan knew that Steve was still dealing with quite a bit of physical pain and emotional trauma.

But now, if Steve still cared about his former partner's daughter, would he be able to set that all aside? This seemed to be the time for Dan to confront Steve, whether the professor liked it or not. He should know about Jeannie's condition and Mike's anguish.

Dan resolved to pay a visit to his absentee friend that evening.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the continued support!

* * *

Dan climbed the multiple levels of steps to Steve's apartment all the while anticipating how the conversation would unfold. He hadn't seen Steve in months and figured that there'd be a polite exchange of updates that would occur, giving him time to assess his friend and refine his tactics.

He was greeted by a paler, but slightly heavier Keller. The clear, focused expression Steve wore a year ago as a cop had been replaced with one steeped in age, compromise and concession. Still in his dress shirt and tie from his earlier classes, the professor welcomed his visitor and invited him in.

After offering him a beer, the pair engaged in small talk and settled in Steve's small living room area. The former cop was particularly curious about how life was at the Bureau. He missed his old job more than he could imagine, but tried hard not to come off as jealous. _Oh, but if he could reverse time to before the Tannanger trial, he would._

Dan gave him the latest updates on the cases they had been working and the individual detectives who worked there during Steve's tenure. There had been quite a turnover within the bureau in recent months. Haseejian left for Vice while Healy took a role at the Academy as an instructor. Rumor had it that Rudy Olsen would soon retire. Bill Tanner remained, but newer faces in Homicide were the norm.

"Steve, aren't you going to ask about Mike?" Dan finally asked. He would have thought Mike's name would have been mentioned before now and was becoming annoyed with his host.

The direct question took Keller back. "Well, sure. How is the big guy? I haven't talked to him in weeks. We caught a ballgame last month, but..." Steve began casually.

That was the tipping point. "Yeah, I know about the ballgame, Steve. You met him at the game in the 2nd inning and left before the 7th inning stretch. Mike was very disappointed." Dan couldn't help but roll his eyes in exasperation. Mike felt abandoned when Steve excused himself to go home.

"Well, I got caught in traffic coming over to the game that day and then I knew I had to get to the school early the next morning. The commute can be a challenge sometimes."

It was lame excuse, Steve knew, but his motivation for being out with this friends, even those that he considered family, was simply gone. He wasn't sure if Dan had responded because now he was lost in his own thoughts. Quietly, he berated himself and felt badly that he was not playing it straight with his guest. Instead, he was coming off like an uncaring, self-centered oaf. When he noticed the dialogue had ended and there was an awkward silence in the room, he caught the worried look on Dan's face and correctly surmised that it had nothing to do with him. "Something's happened, hasn't it?"

"Something's happened? Yeah, you can say that." He paused for a moment to let Steve catch up with the turning tide of the conversation.

"What's wrong? Is he sick?" Steve asked, now somewhat embarrassed.

"Steve, I struggled coming out here. I'm not sure if it is my place to tell you this. I mean, with the new job and all, you've stepped away from the department and Mike," Dan began.

"It's work related? Is he in trouble?" Steve interrupted.

"No, it's not work related. Look, if you've moved on, okay. But I thought you would want to know. Mike..."

"My God, he _is _sick. What is it? Is it his heart? Cancer?" The anxiety in his voice clearly showed.

"It's not Mike, Steve. It's Jeannie. She may have breast cancer. She's been going through quite a bit of testing to get a firm diagnosis." Dan said no more.

Steve felt sick. The image of Jeannie entered his mind: young, smiling with blue eyes that touched his heart. "It can't be. She's only twenty five," he said as he ran his hand through his hair and then looked nerviously around until a thought struck him. "You said she '_may have' _breatst cancer and was still being tested - so there's a chance she's okay?"

"Mike said that she found a lump and then needed to go in for a biopsy. She was admitted to General tonight. They'll do the biopsy tomorrow and then she'll know later," Dan explained.

"Poor Jeannie. And Mike, my God, I can't imagine what he's going through. You know about his wife, right? Helen? She died from breast cancer years ago."

"He's told me." Dan was a little put off by the insinuation that Mike might not have told him about his wife's death. They were, after all, partners and after spending hours on end with the man, had grown close.

Another awkward pause took hold. Dan looked critically at Steve as the former detective slowly realized what was happening. "She does everything right. She doesn't smoke or drink. She's not overweight; she's actually quite fit. And she's Mike's anchor. He can't lose her."

"No, he can't. He already lost one anchor." Dan paused. "Losing her would do him in."

"What do you mean he's already lost one anchor? Oh, yes, Helen. Yes, to go through this again is a curse." Steve asked.

"That's not what I meant," Dan commented as he secretly wanted to wring Steve's neck. Steve's furrowed brow confirmed the confusion. "Are you that thick, Professor? You were family to him and you walked away. I get that you don't want to cause them any hurt because of your heart condition. He recognizes that too and has tried to give you your space. But while you are giving away your future on something that _might_ happen, Mike is dealing with the here and now. He's dealing with the idea that he may lose his daughter."


End file.
